My first stress for this year: Term 2's result.

Every possibilities of failing the term is lingering around in my mind. I seriously don't want to retake it as the next intake for term 2 is on April, and the most important thing; I don't want to make my parents disappointed again. I'm going to be 20 this year, and don't you think it's disgracing yourself when you failed this term and retake the term with the eighteen years old junior? Shiit. Why every time I will only feel the regretfulness after I've done something? When will I changed to be a better daughter/girl? When will I get my lesson? Oh no, the feeling of sorrow over my own sufferings.

For every test, I will be telling myself; you're going to study for it to make sure you get excellent result. But when I started to open the books, flip the notes, my mind will start saying this; aiya, study later la. Then, in the end, facing the test without any revision at all. And I hate it when I am being taught by a lecturer that makes me feel that I'm an down-right asshole. Shitty lecturer makes the subject shitty to me, too.

Now, I'm telling myself to not skip classes, pay attention in class, being less talkative, sleep early every night, do revision often, LOVE MY LECTURERS(Great :D). Do you think I can make it? I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. I said there's no new year resolution for this year but now, I'm taking back my words.

My new year resolution: Study smart, not hard (:


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