I'm kind of ready to tell what's happening to my life these days. To be honest, I fell for another guy from my college. Yay, I know I shouldn't have. But I just can't control myself. I just broke up with Bernard last night, I didn't want to lie to him, I didn't want to keep stuffs from him cos me myself absolutely hate being lied so I totally understand how people feels when they are being lied. Bernard said my relationship with that guy won't last long so he's waiting for me, waiting for me to return to his side. I feel so guilty, I hate it. I don't want to make him cry yet he cried in front of me. I'm really sorry, to say that my feelings for that guy is more stronger. Friends have been asking me why I can just forget everything about the two years relationship. People might think that I'm a bad girl but you never know what actually had happened between Bernard and me before and I don't feel like mentioning about it now.

I'm not mentioning about the guy's name here cos he wants to keep our relationship low first. Almost all my friends in college knew that he's my boyfriend and I'm quite regretted for passing around about our relationship, cos I'm not sure whether we will last long or not. We might be breaking up any moment cos our relationship is not stable yet. I shouldn't have just blurt out that he's my boyfriend when people start to asked me when they saw both of us together. I've been requesting to meet him almost everyday when he told me before that he doesn't like his girlfriend to keep sticking to him, he wants freedom. But still I'm happy that he spent time for me these days in such a way that he left his friends behind and met me and I'm really happy when he promised me that he will be meeting me every Tuesday and Thursday after classes no matter what. My feelings for him is just so fresh and new, and I'm not sure whether I love him or not. And I really like the way he thinks, he is just so honest like me. He's being honest to tell me that his feelings for me is not to the extend of love yet. When he said "i love you", he really meant it that way. Just when both of us together, we will feel very happy. Urgh. It's so hard to start explaining stuff like that.

I really do hope that one day he will start saying that he loves me.......