Just let this post be a boring one, okay? Cos I'm lazy to think. I will be watching Battlestar Galactica Season 2 later on. Well, yesterday I met Bernard at Leisure Mall at around 5pm. Had our dinner at a coffee shop. We ate chicken rice and a plate costs us RM7.50. Damn expensive, right? I think the chicken is imported from United Kingdom >:(

We saw his friends, AhBoy and Kelvin when we're eating there. Then, we went Leisure Mall. Was supposed to catch Transformer but the time didn't match our time. The movie was at 6pm, but we need to get back home before 7pm. We went out to celebrate his birthday at a restaurant with his family after that. His dad is crazy, I mean it! He ordered damn lot of foods. We can't even finished it. Our stomach is like rubbish bin. Ha-ha! Pfft.

After dinner, we went to Sensor Cyber Cafe at Taman Anggerik. We played SuperDancer Online(China) together. Around 11.30pm, we wanted to catch midnight movie. But none of his friends wanted to go since they all went down to club/pub. We didn't tag along cos both of us doesn't like crowded places. I don't like clubbing, honestly. It's a waste of time, a waste of money. If it's for a special occasion like New Year Eve, or maybe friend's birthday party, then I will be going.

You must be wondering why not both of us go for movie only. Teehee! Did you read the newspaper? Two couples in different days got hurt. The boyfriend was hit and forced to watch his own girlfriend being raped by a gang. They are not walking on the street, mind that. They are being chased when they are in the car! I think those bad people had followed them earlier when they were having dinner or maybe just finished watching movie? Anyway, it's better for us to go out with at least six people when it's midnight.

At around 1am, we met his other friends and we had a drink at a mamak shop. AhBoy, Kelvin, AhChun, AhLung, AhKit, and a lot more(I can't really remember all his friends name). I'm the only girl. I thought of taking their photos but they didn't allowed me to post it up here. Sad case. We went back home at 3am. Bathe then slept. Woke up at 2.30pm, he's late for his work already. So, he dropped me down at Leisure Mall, and I 405-ed to Bandar Tasik Selatan. Arrived Putrajaya at 3.30pm. Dad fetched me then we went Serdang for my dentist appointment which is at 4pm. Fuck. I'm lazy already... Sorry for the fucking boring post. Update tomorrow ((:



The Vanilla ice-blended. My favourite ((:



I took this without him knowing about it.



Bernard took this, can you see my face? Hahaha...




BYE PEOPLE.

This is Jamie Bamber which plays the role Captain Lee (Apollo) Adama in BSG. He's handsome, right? It's been a long time(I mean it when I said long) since I last get crazy for an actor. He really makes me drool. Nah, he might not be that handsome or sexy for you but he's just my type. The way he talks and so on. If he asks me to be his girlfriend, I willl definitely say yes without a single second of thought. HAHAHA! I know it's a bit too over already. LOL! Anyway, he's married and he got a daugther and a twins. Guess how old is he?

Anyway, for today, I was busy watching the Battlestar Galactica Season 1 the whole day. Yay, I've downloaded the whole Season 1 to my laptop. I woke up at around 3pm. Didn't had my lunch. I only had a meal at 9pm.

Hey people, I will try to update with my own photos soon cos I really need to sleep now. I've a date with Bernard tomorrow(this) afternoon. I'm going to overnight at his house. Honestly, I haven't granted a permission from my mum(because I haven't really talk to her for the past weeks) but I did left her a note. Just wish that she didn't say no. God, you really need to answer to my prayers (((: I'm still having sore throat but I believe I will get well very soon cos I'm coughing now. Hmm.. Bernard just called my cellphone and said I better get to sleep this instant. So, I will just stop here.



He's thirty-four this year. (I meant this actor, not my baby, okay?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY (:
Four days left and it's going to be our one year ten months.

Night people.

This post will be fucking random cos the post which I wrote earlier is gone! I typed it half way and my laptop just shut down like that. Ninabeh phuacheebye.

Well, I had pattaya again for my lunch today. And my sore throat didn't get any better, thanks to God. You never listened to my prayers. I've drank bloody much of plain water yesterday. Sorry for being rude.

So this evening, I watched the last episode of Battlestar Galactica Season 2 on Astro Channel 41. Astro will be showing the Season 3 this coming July. And for your acknowlegdement, my information about this tv series in my previous post is totally junk. I've searched further about it last midnight and I found out that they actually have it in seasons. Now, it's until the third season. Each seasons has at least 15 episodes, I guess. The Season 4 will be out in 2008.

Frankly speaking, this tv series has a lot of those 18above scenes. But this is not the reason which attracted me to love this series. It's the story line, the impact of the series. And it's fucking normal for a Western movie, anyway. Didn't you notice that almost every movies they made have those scenes? Ha-ha!

I am never a fan of those space-war-movies. I don't watch Babylon, Star War, Star Trek and so on. But this Battlestar Galactica really caught my attention. So I think you might be interested, too.

Now it's SHOWTIME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Okay, I'm mad)



Intro.



Credits.


CYLONS WERE CREATED BY MAN.
AND THE DAY CAME WHEN THEY DECIDED TO KILL THEIR MASTERS.

P/S: Captain Lee Adama is fucking hot, sexy and handsome.

Oh bloody hell. I wish I can cure my own sore throat. It's getting worst. I can't even talk properly now. It hurts, damn fucking hurt, okay?! I think I need to write notes to my big brother when I need to tell him something. Yay, a good idea... or bad? Hmph. God, just let my sore throat healed this second and I promise you I will drink at least one litre of plain water everyday. This I promise you (the song title from NSync) ((: Whatever.

I had pattaya (fried rice wrapped with fried egg) for my lunch at 4pm. Then, I watched the tv series, Battlestar Galactica on Channel 41 (Cinemax). I'm not sure how many episodes/seasons are they, but from what I saw from BattlestarGalactica.com, they are showing the 400 episode now. I believe this tv series has been aired since 2004. Did anyone catch this movie? I think it's a nice one. I rate it 4/5 .

I think I will try getting the DVDs since I missed a lot of episodes already.

I'm sick. Sore-throat, flu, headache. And I think I'm getting fever soon. I slept the whole day and I had chicken rice from Chicken Rice Shop for my dinner/supper. Regretted for not drinking much plain water recently. Hopefully I will get at least abit better tomorrow.

It's my baby's birthday this coming Friday. I'm meeting him ((:

I had a small quarrel with Bernard when I came home from Alamanda six hours ago. He hanged up my call and I called him back an hour ago. His brother told me he was out without his cellphone. Whatever. I was supposed to sleep early, yay, a bit earlier but I just can't sleep because of him. FUCK. Okay, the picture above is taken with my cellphone. I hope no one will rip it and claim it's taken by him/herself. I got the original photo, so mind you ((:

About today(or supposed to be yesterday), I woke up at 5pm(as usual), and had my lunch/dinner. I helped my dad to fried taufu after that. He told me he went Kajang's wet market with mum this morning and they had a fight. I seriously don't know how to describe my mum in term of words anymore. She's giving us attitude. If she was not my mum, I will slap her this instant. No joke.

At 8.30pm, I went Alamanda with my dad. He wanted to buy a pair of sport shoes so I tagged along. He's going to Laos(did I spelled correctly? So so sorry, I'm peanut in Geography) for work tomorrow and he will be back on Friday. I saw the superman and batman tees I'm craving for in one of the shops there! It's fucking nice but sadly, it's for men which means no fit size for me. I don't like wearing big tees. Dad and me had a long conversation throughout the outing. Yay, I love daddy :D

Then, I had Roti Boy for my supper. Dad wanted to buy McDonalds for me but I refused(fat ah! fat ah!). Oh-no. My big tummy is back. I will never get on a diet with this big mouth of mine. Haihs.. There's a lot I want to rant but my mind just went blank suddenly. Anyway, I love Enrique Iglesias' Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song)!

Photos taken in the evening;



The four-year-old laptop of mine.



Haha! Camwhoring ((:

Photos taken at night;



In Carrefour, Alamanda. Not the little girl or any handsome boys that make me took this photo. I'm just being suprised of the colourful light bulbs. I was like WOW when I saw it.



On my way home.



In my room camwhoring, who doesn't nowadays? LOL! That's the use of having camera phone.



I'm going to call my baby now. Bye!

I know this post will be really sucks but I'm still gonna say and post it. I'm just being curious why nowadays I just kept hearing/see quite a number of people say/wrote, 'I'm emo, I'm feeling emo, I am emo, etc.'. What do emo actually means? I know it's the 21st century and me being a teenager should know about it. But I'm just being honest here, I really don't know. Some people might don't know what the word means but they just hooked with it just because they think it's cool or maybe just because their friends said about it? No offence yea.

At first, I thought emo was shorten from endless mind oppresion. Haha! You may laugh as loud as you can when you read this. It's okay with me. I seldom or should I say never use the word, emo in my conversation or sentence because I'm not very sure about what the word really meant. Not until I asked my friend, Fian about it just now and he told me it was shorten from emotion. I bet he's not pretty sure about it, too so he searched it in wikipedia for me.

Finally, I have the fact about the word, emo. This word is actually a slang, which means not stated in any dictionaries because it's a very informal word. I got this definition from wikipedia - When referring to a person's personality and attitude, most definitions of emo hold that an emo person is emotionally candid, sensitive, shy, introverted, glum, and quiet.

You can try to get into more details by clicking here.

Introverted is already meant someone who is shy and quiet, so I don't know why the definition still has shy and quiet when they already jot down introverted. Weird.

Anyway, I'm feeling pity for myself. My own boyfriend doesn't know that I'm going to study in Taylor's soon. Oh-my-god. His cousin asked him where did I study hotel management and he answered SEGI COLLEGE. Gosh. Should I bang myself on the wall?

And I think he needs to improve alot in his English pronunciation(Me myself, too!). Do you know how my baby pronounces schedule? SKE-DULL. Hahaha! I just don't understand why he still keep saying mee-lo when it was supposed to be my-lo.

Him: Ni yao he mee-lo mah? (Do you want to drink milo)
Me: Shi my-lo, bu shi mee-lo, lah! (Is my-lo, not mee-lo)
Him: Mei-lo
Me: =.=

This is how cute he can be. I just love my baby damn fucking dicking bloody hell much :D

I think there's a superb virus in my laptop, lah! I cannot detect it by Norton AntiVirus. I don't want to reformat my laptop again! !@#$%^

Aah! Motherfucker. And I found out there's a pro using IE 7.0. The font looks attractive(very cool) but I hate the tabs(that's the con). Anyhoo, I woke up at 5pm. Had my lunch/dinner. And my dessert was white chocolate with marshmallows ice-cream(as shown in the photo above). The weather is freaking hot nowadays. I reckon drought is coming soon. Oh-no! I love raining days when I'm rotting at home. God, please make it rain everyday until 10th July 2007 :D :D :D

Bernard will be working from 3pm to 12am today because their restaurant is having buffet. Well, after the day I had a fight with my mum, I was shunned by her. We still haven't talk to each other, not even a single word. I believe this will go on for months. She's not acting like a mother at all. Talking about this will just ruin my entire day. So, shut up, Janice =.=

Hey, I just learnt a new word. It might be old for you, but it's totally new to me. I know I'm lack of English. I'm trying to improve my English already, lah! The new word I'm mentioning is PMS. The abbreviation for premenstrual syndrome. A condition in which some women experience unpleasant physical and emotional feelings for a few days before their period. Wao, that's scary.

Anyway, I need to help my dad in the kitchen now. I knew some of you might not believe this. Whatever. I'm soon-to-be a hotel management student, so I've to get used to the kitchen although I hate that oily place...

See-ya (((:

An old photo of Bernard. One and a half year ago.



He definitely will kill me if he saw this. Haha! But whocares. I'm missing him )))):

This is my look when I'm at home.
With spectacles, without foundation of make-up, with my hair tied-up.
My mouth is big, yay, but I'm proud of it ((:



At last I can upload photos in photobucket.com although it's abit slow than before. The ping time now is 524ms and yesterday was 1039ms! The normal one is around 200-300ms. I think I stored too much stuffs in my laptop and cause it to lag like hell. ZOMG! (Some of you might be thinking what's ZOMG. It's the abbreviation for Zillions-Oh-My-God, haha!). W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R.

Anyway, I downloaded the lastest version of Internet Explorer and I hate it, lah! It's almost like Mozilla Firefox. I always prefer using IE than Firefox. So, now how? Someone please tell me how to changed back to the classic one?! Just simply send a personal message to my messenger or kindly e-mail me, okay? I HATE INTERNET EXPLORER 7.0 ... urgh!

I'm feeling quite down now. I'll just post photos up. And you guys enjoy laughing at my photos ((:



Secondary One (1A), SMB St.Joseph. - 2001



Secondary Two (2A), SMB St.Joseph. - 2002



Secondary Three (3B), SMB St.Joseph. - 2003



Secondary Four (4S1), SMB St.Joseph. - 2004



Secondary Five (5S1) , SMK Putrajaya 1 - 2005



National Service (KKB) - January-March 2006.



Foundation In Arts (TA1) - May 2006-May 2007



Will be coming...



Mr. Derek Chan & Me. He was my tutor for Web Page Design in UTAR. Handsome, right? Haha! Anyway, my eyes look damn small/tiny in this photo. Doesn't look like me?



Some of my friends during National Service. I am not inside, so don't go around searching for me. LOL! Well, the boy far left is the one I admired(not now anymore). Shhh! Hopefully he doesn't pass by my blog.



My medals during primary school. Some(quite a number) was thrown by my mum when she was angry. These are the one I managed to keep. I'm not good in running anymore....



And I will end this post with this photo of mine. I was trying to pose like the donkey, haha! Yay, yay, I know, I know, I know I looked like a donkey. Just shut up. You know who you are :D :D :D

I'm seriously fed up with my server. The speed is damn fucking slow. I can't even load the photobucket.com, and the slide.com is giving me problems like lagging. Someone please tell me, is it I'm the one who's having this fucking problem?

My blog is dull without photos. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sorry for the vulgarity. I'm just being pissed-off. I wanted to share with you guys my old photos and yet this problem occured. Urgh! I feel like stabbing someone right now.

Well, I slept at 5am this morning and woke up at 4pm. Then, I helped my dad to do the laundry. I poured too much detergent(since I seldom do laundries) and the clothes all turn out to be like air freshener. Haha! Silly me. After that, I turned on the television and watched channel 40. The movie is nice and scary. It's about a company who helps farmers to destroy all those insects that are harmful for their plants and crops. The company invented a kind of insect, locust. Locust was supposed to be herbivore, but in this movie, they are carnivores. They turned violent and eat flesh-blood(human).

Anyhoo, I nearly had a quarrel with Bernard over a tiny thing. He didn't even bother to call me when he reached home from work just now. The first thing he did was turn on the computer and online! WTF! I hate online games now. They snatch away your boyfriend )):

Photobucket.com is driving me nuts.
I can't even load the site.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

The song I mentioned in my previous post is in my playlist now. It might take a few minutes/seconds to load depending on your server, so please kindly wait ((:

Well, you guys must be looking around for the comment box, huh? Yay, I've deleted the halosan(comment box). I reckon it's inconvenience for you guys when you need to tag me, or whatever shit and I'm truly sorry for that. I'm sick of replying comments, seriously. Especially those sickening comments I received(e.g. Where did you bought this/that).

For now, bye people. Update again soon C:

Elliott Yamin - Wait For You
[Verse 1]

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.


[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting
---------------------------------

I'm not heart-broken. Don't worry. Just wanted to share this song. It's a soul/R&B song and I'm in love with it. The song is sang by the American Idol lastest season finalist.

Credit to Fian for introducing this song to me (((:

I miss Bernard Low Kin Guan. It's been two weeks since we last met. I miss his everything, I miss how he cuddles me to sleep, I miss his huggies, I miss his kisses. When can I meet you again? You said it will be real soon, but I know the truth, I've to wait for another week. Since 2006's May, I've been meeting you almost everyday in a row. And now...aaah! I hate mum for grounded me. She's not giving me pocket money which means I can only stay at home. Nevermind, bernard's payday will be around the corner....

I'm feeling hot.
Yay, in the outside and inside.
Don't make me get huffy with you.

I think there's something going wrong with the Friendster. I noticed that a number of people in my friend list is posting bulletins with the title, 'Hi! i just updated my photos'. I was so curious about why everyone was so fucking free to post such bulletins. So, without any hesitation, I clicked on the bulletin and I saw the same content in every of it. It stated 'check them out and comment, my profile: http://www.friendster.com/44773921'. At first, I thought it was another programme set up by Friendster to let us inform our friends about our new uploaded photos, but NO. The url is the same, and when you entered the url, you will saw a girl in bikini. She's pretty, LOL! I'm wondering if it's a virus spreading in Friendster.

Anyway, I'm feeling drowsy...... cIaOzzZz..

I hate my mum for not tolerating at all. I hate her for not giving me support in whatever shit I do. She just know how to complain and despise me. Yay, I know, I'm bad and worthless. People, don't always tell me that every parents love their children, I'm sick of that. Perhaps you guys should be in my shoes for a day and understand my inner feelings.

When I passed the brochure to her, she FUCKING ignored me, IN FRONT OF SO MANY PEOPLE. Okay, I didn't mind. When we're sitting down to have our desserts, I took two small cups of dessert for her and my dad. And she just simply push it back to me. When I called her mum, she pretends that she didn't heard it. Do you know how I feel? I feel like crying... Why in the world that I'm being treated like this? I love her. Yes, I do. But just because I'm choosing the path of my own life, she despise me more.

Okay. Fine. And she's not paying for my fees. But still, I've a best daddy in the world. I love my dad (x infinity). No matter how I disappointed him, he still cares for me, loves me like nobody does. This is what I called a parent love his child.

Enough of the crying.



These two photos (down) are not edited:




THIS IS HOW MY LOOK LIKE IN THE SOON-COMING-OUT ID CARD.
You may laugh...


Anyway, I'm officially a Taylor's student now :D :D :D :D
My orientation is on the 11th July.

Loneliness is killing me ))):

Big brother is not at home, bernard start working today.Tomorrow is Saturday, which means weekends, it will be even more worst cos my parents will be at home 24hours. Hopefully my second brother will come back home for weekends then I'll have someone to talk to. If not, I can only play Final Fantasy 12 alone.... Luckily I've FAQ/Walkthrough to help me (=

Going Taylors for registration tomorrow. Praying hard that there will be no quarrels between me and my mum either today or tomorrow. And one good news, my tummy is getting flatter and flatter, thanks so much for myself for having only slight meals this two weeks, i will go on with this til I got FLAT tummy :D :D :D

Bye (((((((:

The side view of the vain me :D


I never dyed my hair before, honestly!! My hair is original brownish, then somemore my hair is very dry, that's why the end of the hair is like gold color.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This few days, I'm busy playing PlayStation 2.
You must be wondering what game I'm playing, eh?
I'm playing Final Fantasy XII.
And now, you will be wondering how come I know how to play, eh?
Cos my big brother is beside me playing online games(RO) while I am playing, luh!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Anyway, my big brother will be going Pulau Langkawi tomorrow and he will only be back next Monday. Oh-my-oh-my. I'm left alone, now )))))))))):

I still haven't talk to my mum(or should I say see??) I haven't seen her for two days already. When she is back from work, I locked myself in my room until midnight. Don't ask me why.

I'm hungry now. Byebyebyebyebyebyebye ((((((((((((:

P/S: I know I'm acting emo, whatever you call it.

I'M SORRY, MUMMY! I'M SORRY ):
I shouldn't shout at you, however you're my mum also.

I don't feel like blogging what had happened.
Just in the end, she's letting me to take the hotel management course.
She's mad, yay, she is indeed very mad.
I don't know when she will talks to me again.

I will be taking the course in Taylor's College. Taking French Diploma in Hotel Management for two years, French Higher Diploma in Hotel Management for one year, Bachelor of Hospitality and Tourism Management(Hons) for one year then Professional Master in International Tourism&Hospitality Management for one and a half year. Don't ask me why I planned until the master degree, it's not planned by me, but my parents. My big brother is studying master degree in architecture now(he's 23 soon).

Anyway, I hope she didn't changed her mind suddenly.

Things doesn't work good between us. She's not talking nicely to me. Here's the conversation:

Her: There's no choices for you to make. You must go on with the accountancy.
Me: Why? I hate account, lah! What's wrong with hotel management?
Her: I SAID ACCOUNT THEN THERE'S NO MORE ARGUEMENT. OKAY?
Me: YOU NEVER LET ME CHOOSE THE THING I LIKE SINCE I ASKED FOR CHOICES. SO NEXT TIME WHO'S GOING TO BE MY MAN, YOU CHOOSE, RIGHT?
Her: (I don't know what is she babbling because I just shouted at her when she talks)
Me: I TELL YOU! I WON'T GO FOR THE ENROLMENT. -went up my room.

Okay. I know that I'm not thinking of my own future when I said the last sentence. I hate it when she said ...(the sentence in bold). If she said, 'I think you better go on with the accountancy because hotel management don't guarantees your future', then I will be most probably listen to her. BUT SHE'S NOT! She don't even let me have any choices to be made, not even when I'm going to be nineteen soon! Why? I feel like running away from home, seriously. All I need is just freedom to choose my own life, I won't bother if you don't give me pocket money anymore.

All I need is that word with seven alphabets.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

say whatever you want, bitch, just say whatever you want.
i don't hackcare how people looks/thinks about me.

To: Someone(not revealing her name for some reasons),

What's the problem if I'm a banana? And I don't think I'm a banana, luh! I know how to recognise some chinese words(I did text in chinese) and listen/speak mandarin(although my mandarin mostly out of tune). Like hellllloooooooo, do you mean I've to blame my parents for sending me to english school instead of chinese school? No wait, I'm proud to be the way I am. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH A CHINESE SPEAKING ENGLISH IN HER DAILY LIFE?! A preposterous thinking! Just stop babbling with your oh-so-geng-cantonese in front of me when you know I will get drained when I listen to it.

You're not even a friend of mine. A true friend don't laugh/gossip at me. Now, I know your true colors. I will keep a distance from you this moment onwards.

She's not talking to me. Yeah. She's not. And I'm not talking to her, too.

But I really wanted to know what's her plan. If she insisted me to go on in UTAR, why don't she just tell me? Then I won't be thinking so hard. I did tried to talk to her yesterday, but she fucking ignored me. I called her for a zillion times, and I got so fed up. Why in the hell that I've got such a mother? My unluckiness.

Bernard is starting to miss me like hell(he's the one who said this). I'm in a bad mood nowadays so, I seldom text or call him. It's so not like me cos I always bomb his cellphone. lol.

its my fault to vent my anger on you. im sorry baby for the hurtful words ive thrown to hurt your pride as a man. i should have put the past behind, the wrong things you did in the start and believe you have changed, no more cheating and betraying. perhaps im the one who should change to make things work between you and me.

people, try to be in my shoes for a minute. you wouldnt survive for a second.

i know ive been ranting on and on.....

i just dont want to keep stuffs in my heart, it burdens me.

i cried... i just dont understand why my life turns out this way. i am always a happy-go-lucky girl because my life is controlled/planned by my mum. how i really wish i was born in a normal and supportive family like my friends surround me. i am always jealous of my friends. they can talk whatever with their family members, they are good with their siblings, but me... ive nothing. my brothers dont talk stuffs with me, my mum dislikes me, and my dad, he loves me but i kept disappointing him so i cant blame him for not putting hope in me anymore.

i hate her for being so selfish, all she wants is an image. she thinks taking hotel management will drop her image as a high-class woman in front of her moron friends. her friends are all brainless, i despise her friends, fucking despise, their hobby is gossiping and gossiping and gossiping everyone around the world.

bernard called me and he really tried all his best to cheer me up but still.... i feel miserable. luckily i still have him by my side supporting whatever i do. i will be totally lost without him. i know... we cant expect what will happened tomorrow, but i really really really wish that he will never left me. hes the one and only person who i can trust.

bernard advised me that i should just go on with the accountancy course and not arguing with her anymore. and i know i shouldnt ruin my own future because of her so i will rather go on with the account thingy than stop studying(because she wont pay for my fees if i take hospitality course).

from the day i was born, my life is planned to be this way. i couldnt blame anyone. i couldnt make any choices. i swear i will never ever talk to her anymore, i will only talk to her when its an important matter. this half year, i might be staying at home or maybe i will look for a job. in december, i will be repeating the economics paper and take the january intake in kampar for degree. i will not be coming home after i get there unless my dad wants me to go home for a day or two. during semester breaks, i will stay at bernard's house and get a part-time job. as long as she pay for my fees, accommodations, and foods, i dont need her money for anything else. when i graduated from the degree, i will get a proper job and have my own life without her planning anything for me again.

i know what i said seems hilarious, but you will never understand how i felt. if my mum lets me to take the course i like, then i will be happy cause she spares a thought for me but this will never happened if only the world turns rectangular.

will a miracle happens to me?
God decides.

ive a strong disagreement from mum about changing the course.

and i hate her for not being understanding since i was young. she never supported me in whatever i want to do and she loves shouting at me for the slightest reason, discouraging me and bring down all my confidence with harsh sentences. thats why i hate being at home when home was supposed to be the favourite place to be. i started to hate my life, my life is now so miserable, just because of her. i do love her, but she makes me hate her, she makes my world turns upside down.

back in primary school, i was a gold medal runner, and i love running on tracks, but she forced me to stop my hobby and stop getting invovled in sports day and competitions. in secondary one, i joined band and once again she forced me to get out from band. in secondary three, i joined volleyball, i am a fast learner and the coach wanted me to join the state competition, i need her signature, and ONCE again, she refused to sign. in secondary four, i was choosen by the school to be in the first science class and i told her that i prefer studying arts subject, she ignored me. and now, im choosing the path of my own life, and she cursed me to die.

i know, she wants a bright future for me, but why can't she just let me choose the course i love? its not like i choose not studying anymore. why can't you just be like dad? then my life will be much much better. i guess her hobby is ruining people's mood, and putting fear in this family. she thought money is everything. yayayayayaya, money is big, but money aint everything. if your life is dull, what for when youve trillions. i dont want sucha life.

like britney spears, she got all the fame she wanted, but her life is an asshole, she goes nuts because of paparazzi. like bill gates, hes the world's richest person, but he is not married. God made adam and eve, that means we need love in our life. so, the conclusion is.......

theres so much i want to rant on and on, but ive no stamina. i didnt take my breakfast, lunch and dinner as ive locked myself in my room the whole day.

whatever if im whining. bye.

PLEASE GIVE ME MORAL SUPPORT AND NOT YELLING AT ME, WILL YOU?

finally the day has come.

i came back home at 8pm after three days two nights not coming home, dad fetched me at putrajaya sentral and i told him about the withdraw. he nagged at me and i know ive disappointed him again. but my dad is very understanding and hes the best daddy in the world. he let me choose the course i want to study as long as its a degree course.

and i was supposed to tell my mum about it as soon as i arrived home, but she was on the phone with her friend. so ended up, i told her at around ten. i started by telling her that im not egilible to proceed to the accountancy degree, and just before i wanted to say about the withdraw, she got so mad that she screamed at me. i just keep silent, letting her to keep scolding me. but she got too over, so i shouted at her, too. i know i shouldnt do that cause im the one who disappointed her, but......(okay, i dont feel like saying it)

i couldnt stand what she said anymore, i banged the door, locked it. and she stopped. then we didnt talk anymore. she went to bed after that. i did told her that i dont like account, and hopefully she will asks me what course i prefer when she talks to me tomorrow(not that i dont want to talk to her, just that i want to let herself cool down).

after telling my parents, i felt an incredible sense of relief. i thought my dad wont talk to me for a week, i thought my mum will hit/punch/kick me. but both didnt happened. my dad still talks to me :D :D :D :D but i feel so ashamed of myself ): ): ):

heres the conversation between my dad and me:

Me: How ah if mama dont let me to take hotel management(the degree course is hospitality, tourism and culinary arts)?
Him: Most probably she will let.
Me: But I dont think so, luh. This course is not kind-of-famous although its until professional master.
Him: Aiyo... but remember, she likes to stay in the hotel.
Me: wtf.

afterall, im getting worried about tomorrow. how if my mum wants me to go on with the accountancy course?!

two days ago was our one year nine months anniversary, and i totally forgot about it. -screams

bernard and i just came back from leisure mall, was supposed to catch shrek 3 but both of us spent the time slacking in mcdonalds. i still remember how bernard ended up sleeping in the cinema when we are watching pirates of the carribean 3 (POTC) so i made a decision not catching shrek 3 with him. we had shakey pizzas for our lunch and we are now in sensor cyber cafe. hes playing dota.

DOTA IS A BOYFRIEND STEALER!

anyway, i had spent my own three 50 notes today. bernard couldnt pay for me because hes short of cash this month(he needs to pay for stuffs). i bought a lightening pressed powder from silky girl, a thingy that hang on the phone from living cabin and a red shoes from vincci.

im fucking lazy to rant on, i will be back home tomorrow night.

wish me luck (you should know what im saying if youre my friend).

[edit]

my tama turns into an odd teen, looks like a fire. haha! his name is nigel and hes two-years (:

[/edit]

sometimes, i just dont get to understand some people. when they dislike someone, they still get so interested to know about their life, their thoughts, their rantings, from A-Z. most teenagers are like that, especially those under seventeen. i was once, the same, too.

theres a singaporean who dropped me a comment saying that she hates malaysian. i can guess that that person is a girl under seventeen because she acts like one. i had report her comment as spam, and changed my comment settings into enabled moderation which i can screen comments before they are displayed.

she even said that i kept saying until my boy is like so handsome and actually my boyfriend is not. and she asked me not to be afraid that anyone will fall in love with him unless the girl is kokeyed(i dont get what this word means since singaporean lovessss using slang). oh-my-god. did i even jot down that, 'MY BOYFRIEND IS SO HANDSOME, AND I AM AFRAID OF ANYONE FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM'.? Did I?

and please, lah! not only handsome boys get to be loved by anyone. even ugly/fat boys have girlfriend, too. so what do that girl really mean when i said that theres a girl who wanted to be my boy's girl? i dont even mean that my boy is handsome when i wrote that.

okay. i know i shouldnt mind about this comment cause i dont even know who is she. but i just want to fix things right. this is my blog, i rant whatever i want, so you dont have to get pissed off with any of my post as long as i didnt write anything bad about you.

for the girl who tagged that comment, if youre so interested to drop me a comment again, please think twice before you write anything unless you do not mind the consequences, be mature. life is not as what you want. singapore is once in malaysia, too. thats the fact. and if youre a chinese, then we're both originated in china, so if you hate chinese malaysian, why dont you hate your grandpa, too?

i deleted your comment doesnt mean im afraid of anything, just that youre trying to create conflict between malaysian and singaporean. i know we shouldnt take things serious in my blog but did ya know a teenage singaporean girl found herself in controversy after posting an offensive entry? we still can locate you no matter youre using a nickname, theres a thing called IP address in this technology world (:

ive changed a new song for my blog cos im sick of the old song, over it.


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mum is having a bad hair day so ive to delay the day again. okay, i'll just admit that im scared, im scaRED, IM SCARED. my mum is fierce. so, please kindly dont blame me for it, please?




im back from ipoh. and i was supposed to be arriving home at seven, but the fucking traffic jam caused me to arrived home at ten. we went for the horse racing before heading home from ipoh.










my cousins new house is big, but i dislike the interior design(maybe only me who dont like it). its a three storeys terrace house, not a fucking two-and-a-half-storeys but it looks like a banglo to me. somemore, my brother cousin is having a damn big room for himself, more bigger than my house's master bedroom, can you imagine it? he has two fucking big shelves for all his books(okay, hes a bookworm) which looks like a library. and even the guest room can fit in five person to sleep in with everyone with a bed. okay, they are rich and i am poor ):

nevermind, nevermind, its okay, no point to be jealous since im moving to a new house, too in this coming december. im so excited, but i hate packing up my stuffs. three years ago, i packed my stuffs and threw a lot of them when im moving to this house, and i hope my mum wont ask me to throw any of my stuffs again this time.

i'll just stop explaining things today cause my grammar explanations are terribly convoluted.

ive to wake up at 7am tomorrow. so its bedtime for me. im going out tomorrow and i will be back either on tuesday or wednesday.



i have been ordered to desist from squeezing my one and only pimple by bernardlowkinguan the great >:(

i had a slight quarrel with bernard last night or it was supposed to be said, a real big fight? its all because of the the girl who is so dicking cheap that she sent two bubble talk messages to bernard which really burned my ass. everytime she saw us, she surely will call or text bernard the next day.

the first bubbletalk : lei go tak ngo hou hak yam zhang mou? (do you think im very despise by people?)
the second bubbletalk: *the song girlfriend sang by avril lavigne is played*

okay. i knew i should not have blamed bernard for it, cause the girl is in purpose to make us quarrel, but .... (i dont feel like talking about it anymore)

i sent a message to her using my cellphone and asked her not to be so cheap. then, she called me back, bernard answered the phone. she wants to break the friendship with bernard, oh-my-god-its-funny.

enough of that.

i will be home tomorrow morning(supposed to be at night but mum insisted me to follow them to ipoh)and my family will be going ipoh in the noon time. my cousin just moved to a new house, a fucking three storey house so my aunty asked us to go visit them. but the main reason is my cousin will be going canada to further her studies soon. im coming home on sunday evening, most probably.

that means i dont even have a single second to tell my mum about the withdraw on weekends. i just wish i can tell her so soon ):